Washington and Lee has a very specific mold that is, in general, expected of all its students. The perception is not so much that you must act a certain way or speak a certain language, but rather it is that you must fit the profile of the typical Greek student. The Greek system has built a stigma of perceptions that contribute to the loss of personal identity and the gain of an associated identity of the Greek organization you are a part of. And Heaven forbid you take the route of having no Greek affiliation; this places you in a category that is even more distinct than the Greeks, because you're "one of those." The system does, however, seem to be changing. Student's attitudes are altering and the "necessity" of having some affiliation with the Greek system is not seen as a social life or death. Time will only tell if the tide will turn and participation in the system will not be a requirement for fitting the W&L mold.
One thing that can be really hard is getting used to the W&L culture. When I first came, I'd never heard of Lilly, Rainbow, or Northface. In fact, I still wore jean shorts and overalls. As a freshman trying to figure out my "college" identity, I felt pretty insecure sometimes. Also, it can be tough if you don't drink as a freshman. Not because you feel pressure from others to do so (at least if you're a female), but because it's often difficult to have fun at a big W&L party if you're one of the only ones not drinking. And sometimes (though not intentionally) others make comments that imply that you're making them feel awkward for drinking around you.
Fitting in at Washington and Lee means what frat or sorority to which a person belongs. "Interviews" be each frat and sorotity are heald each fall term. If you do not fit into a certain mold or profile of that frat you will not be asked to join as a member during the winter. However, the "less cool frats" are more accepting of who a person actually is for their character rather than what clothes they wear, where they are from, or what sports they play. If you join a "less cool frat" then you are labeled as exactly that, not cool. Instead of people looking at your character, they see what frat or soroity you belong too and form an opinion on those grounds. I feel we need to reverse this trend.
Washington and Lee fosters a drinking culture, so it is difficult for a) people who don't drink and b) people who rarely drink to meet people. For example, during 2006 orientation Snackbar Jones, a band that is very popular with the school and always attracts a big crowd when they play at fraternity houses, was hired to play at Evans Dining Hall on one of the orientation nights. Since this band was not playing at a frat house, where students would have access to alcohol, there were only a handful of students at the concert.
This is not to disagree with what others have been saying, but I actually don't think the frat and/or drinking scene is the most difficult adjustment. Anyways, it wasn't for me. Somehow when I toured the school during my senior year of high school, I missed the southern preppy vibe. I figure this probably happened because I had never seen southern preppy. This was the most difficult adjustment for me, since all of my clothes, tastes, and activities were not those of the wealthy southern tradition. I distinctly remember going to Alvin Dennis with a guy from St. Louis and another from Pennsylvania. The guy from PA and I were laughing at the ridiculous clothes, and the third one talked about how awesome the store was and how much he loved dressing up, etc. I also remember calling my mother to tell her that my roomate had just put on a suit that I swear was made of paper towels. My mom then informed me that I had just been exposed to seersucker. But yeah, I think this was really hard since I anticipated coming into college with some innate south Florida coolness, but everything I wore and did was decidedly NOT cool.
Fitting in at W&L is hard for a number of reasons. One of the biggest reasons I believe is because it is so small. The size of the school is great for class and meeting people but at the same time if you do not fit the "mold" of what others expect or look like you stand out. When you have constant social pressure on top of school stress it can be overwhelming. A second reason I feel like fitting in is difficult is because everyone tries to look the same. After a saturday night there are at least 5 campus notices about the "lost size XS/S black northface fleece". It just adds to the pressure of being a certain way. College is usually talked about as a time to find yourself. Here, I believe a majority of students focus trying to be one type of person and in most cases that is not the person they are.
Incoming students to Washington and Lee University look around, and most of the time will see the same actions, behaviors and dress that is deemed appropriate at the school. As they develop relationships with other peers at the school, they begin to realize that Greek life is very prominent on the campus. All of a sudden, students who were not considering fraternities or sororities must decide between "fitting in" with the majority of the other students, or electing not to particpate in the Greek system. It is difficult to make this decision sometimes, because a part of them wants to identify with and form friendships with many of the other students, but it also may not be for them. Also, they may begin to realize some of the social/service activities that they may be unable to participate in if they do not conform to the prominent Greek life on campus.
I'd like to put a different spin on this. While freshman year I think the challenge is fitting in, I think the final three years an even tougher challenge presents itself: not allowing yourself to become "boxed in." I don't think it is particularly hard to find a group of people on campus who have similar interests as you do. The challenge lies in the fact that once you find that group, you find it such a relief that you found it that you want to make sure you don't lose it, and so you try to mold into each other. Furthermore, once you find that group, because this is a small campus, everyone will know what fraternity you chose or if you chose to be independent. For example, if you decide to join a sorority, everyone will know what sorority you are in, and they will expect you to act in a certain way. If you decide you would rather be an independent, people will know and will expect certain characteristics of you. What if you want to act outside of that mold? For example, you do have to work harder to maintain friendships outside of your sorority. You would have to make a conscious effort not to adopt some of the mannerisms and behaviors of your sisters. What if you wanted to date someone who was "higher" or "lower" than you on the social scale - the "Who do you think you are?" mentality.
I feel that the perception of everyone else being constantly happy to be the largest challenge facing W&L students as they try to fit into the "culture" here.
Walking down the Colonnade, it is not uncommon to see most students sporting a big smile, especially now that the weather is changing. In an effort to fit it, the rest of us follow suit and also grin when we see others.
While, according to research, the mere act of smiling does substantially improve one's mood, it is easy to think that the smiles on our classmates' faces translate into actual happiness. This can then lead a person to think that, since everyone else is seemingly happy, they should be as well.
What most people fail to realize, though, is just how unhappy so many W&L students are. The perpetual smile serves as a shield against questions, questions that would arise if someone was walking around campus noticeably unhappy.
The biggest challenge to grapple with at W&L, in my opinion, is whether or not to subscribe to this constant smiling, or if we are brave enough to go against the W&L "culture" by showing our true emotions, which often may be counter to our outward appearance.
Greek system? Eh, every situation and every school and every location has its fair share of complications that are both real and induced by individuals that can block someone from being incorporated into social life. Most people will mention Greek life, alcohol, and being a wealthy southerner as being elements at W&L that will disassociate individuals from the collective student body, so I would like to talk about something else entirely: people carrying ferrets around campus. Well, I have only seen once, so it is not the best commentary on social life to give. I think that it is better to be current and speak of our problems in W&L today and I do mean today. Today we are in the process of the first student body hearing in 12 years. One of the main reasons I decided to attend W&L was because of the strong honor system that W&L supposedly had. Since I have come to know W&L better, I have found that the honor system really is only what the community thinks is a violation of its trust TODAY. Breaking laws is ok and not a violation of anyones trust as long as it does not harm anyone else. If you lie, cheat, or steal it is ok as long as it is outside our "community of trust." All of these things and many other things that I do not consider honorable are not thought of as being against the honor system because if it does not directly effect our community of trust, it does not matter. These reactions by many people at W&L have caused me to feel slightly exiled within the "community of trust." I think that many people even feel exiled within their own fraternity or sorority and within themselves because they know there something slightly hypocritical with the rules that bind our community of trust. Thinking or not think at hours on end about the true meaning of the honor system does not necessarily cause people not to fit into W&L, but it is something that causes people to second guess themselves and others.
Everything about W&L makes it hard to fit in. There are gender issues, racial issues, and other issues here that make it impossible to fit in if you want to maintain any type of individuality. The only way to fit in is to conform completely and basically let go of all of your ideas about what is right. If you want to do this, and you look the part, there is a chance you will fit in.
The fact that this is a topic of discussion at our school speaks to the interesting social dynamic here at W&L. It seems as though college students should be asserting their independent identities and striving to become better people. Instead, though, W&L students often change for what they consider popular acceptance. These students, in trying to fit in, lose themselves to the overriding homogeny of our student population. Unfortunately, in the process, they don't learn to assert themselves as individuals. Sad.
I think that everyone has done a great job of listing some of the challenges of the W&L social life; the Greek system, drinking culture, and conspicuous consumption that pervade this campus erect arbitrary barriers between us. In light of the effective presentation of these facts, I guess that my only comment would be to point out how these pressures assume the quality of inevitability. It is not enough for students to feel that they need to work to fit in; at this school they are taught from very early on that failure to do so will literally end their social lives. I think that the best example would be rush (though perhaps in particular sorority rush. Every year, freshmen are so convinced that these organizations are so important that failure to get into their first choice might reduce them to tears. Divergence is not viewed as an option...
Whenever you meet an alum or a new student at W&L, they immediately ask in which sorority or fraternity you belong. It's often difficult to fit in if your not preppy, Republican, and a WASP. Of course, there are many exceptions to this rule, and W&L is beginning to change with the times. Diversity in enrollment has improved, and whether you like it or not, you have to interact with "these people" in some fashion (e.g., class).
14 comments:
Washington and Lee has a very specific mold that is, in general, expected of all its students. The perception is not so much that you must act a certain way or speak a certain language, but rather it is that you must fit the profile of the typical Greek student. The Greek system has built a stigma of perceptions that contribute to the loss of personal identity and the gain of an associated identity of the Greek organization you are a part of. And Heaven forbid you take the route of having no Greek affiliation; this places you in a category that is even more distinct than the Greeks, because you're "one of those." The system does, however, seem to be changing. Student's attitudes are altering and the "necessity" of having some affiliation with the Greek system is not seen as a social life or death. Time will only tell if the tide will turn and participation in the system will not be a requirement for fitting the W&L mold.
One thing that can be really hard is getting used to the W&L culture. When I first came, I'd never heard of Lilly, Rainbow, or Northface. In fact, I still wore jean shorts and overalls. As a freshman trying to figure out my "college" identity, I felt pretty insecure sometimes. Also, it can be tough if you don't drink as a freshman. Not because you feel pressure from others to do so (at least if you're a female), but because it's often difficult to have fun at a big W&L party if you're one of the only ones not drinking. And sometimes (though not intentionally) others make comments that imply that you're making them feel awkward for drinking around you.
Fitting in at Washington and Lee means what frat or sorority to which a person belongs. "Interviews" be each frat and sorotity are heald each fall term. If you do not fit into a certain mold or profile of that frat you will not be asked to join as a member during the winter. However, the "less cool frats" are more accepting of who a person actually is for their character rather than what clothes they wear, where they are from, or what sports they play. If you join a "less cool frat" then you are labeled as exactly that, not cool. Instead of people looking at your character, they see what frat or soroity you belong too and form an opinion on those grounds. I feel we need to reverse this trend.
Washington and Lee fosters a drinking culture, so it is difficult for a) people who don't drink and b) people who rarely drink to meet people. For example, during 2006 orientation Snackbar Jones, a band that is very popular with the school and always attracts a big crowd when they play at fraternity houses, was hired to play at Evans Dining Hall on one of the orientation nights. Since this band was not playing at a frat house, where students would have access to alcohol, there were only a handful of students at the concert.
This is not to disagree with what others have been saying, but I actually don't think the frat and/or drinking scene is the most difficult adjustment. Anyways, it wasn't for me. Somehow when I toured the school during my senior year of high school, I missed the southern preppy vibe. I figure this probably happened because I had never seen southern preppy. This was the most difficult adjustment for me, since all of my clothes, tastes, and activities were not those of the wealthy southern tradition. I distinctly remember going to Alvin Dennis with a guy from St. Louis and another from Pennsylvania. The guy from PA and I were laughing at the ridiculous clothes, and the third one talked about how awesome the store was and how much he loved dressing up, etc. I also remember calling my mother to tell her that my roomate had just put on a suit that I swear was made of paper towels. My mom then informed me that I had just been exposed to seersucker. But yeah, I think this was really hard since I anticipated coming into college with some innate south Florida coolness, but everything I wore and did was decidedly NOT cool.
Fitting in at W&L is hard for a number of reasons. One of the biggest reasons I believe is because it is so small. The size of the school is great for class and meeting people but at the same time if you do not fit the "mold" of what others expect or look like you stand out. When you have constant social pressure on top of school stress it can be overwhelming. A second reason I feel like fitting in is difficult is because everyone tries to look the same. After a saturday night there are at least 5 campus notices about the "lost size XS/S black northface fleece". It just adds to the pressure of being a certain way. College is usually talked about as a time to find yourself. Here, I believe a majority of students focus trying to be one type of person and in most cases that is not the person they are.
Incoming students to Washington and Lee University look around, and most of the time will see the same actions, behaviors and dress that is deemed appropriate at the school. As they develop relationships with other peers at the school, they begin to realize that Greek life is very prominent on the campus. All of a sudden, students who were not considering fraternities or sororities must decide between "fitting in" with the majority of the other students, or electing not to particpate in the Greek system. It is difficult to make this decision sometimes, because a part of them wants to identify with and form friendships with many of the other students, but it also may not be for them. Also, they may begin to realize some of the social/service activities that they may be unable to participate in if they do not conform to the prominent Greek life on campus.
I'd like to put a different spin on this. While freshman year I think the challenge is fitting in, I think the final three years an even tougher challenge presents itself: not allowing yourself to become "boxed in." I don't think it is particularly hard to find a group of people on campus who have similar interests as you do. The challenge lies in the fact that once you find that group, you find it such a relief that you found it that you want to make sure you don't lose it, and so you try to mold into each other. Furthermore, once you find that group, because this is a small campus, everyone will know what fraternity you chose or if you chose to be independent. For example, if you decide to join a sorority, everyone will know what sorority you are in, and they will expect you to act in a certain way. If you decide you would rather be an independent, people will know and will expect certain characteristics of you. What if you want to act outside of that mold? For example, you do have to work harder to maintain friendships outside of your sorority. You would have to make a conscious effort not to adopt some of the mannerisms and behaviors of your sisters. What if you wanted to date someone who was "higher" or "lower" than you on the social scale - the "Who do you think you are?" mentality.
I feel that the perception of everyone else being constantly happy to be the largest challenge facing W&L students as they try to fit into the "culture" here.
Walking down the Colonnade, it is not uncommon to see most students sporting a big smile, especially now that the weather is changing. In an effort to fit it, the rest of us follow suit and also grin when we see others.
While, according to research, the mere act of smiling does substantially improve one's mood, it is easy to think that the smiles on our classmates' faces translate into actual happiness. This can then lead a person to think that, since everyone else is seemingly happy, they should be as well.
What most people fail to realize, though, is just how unhappy so many W&L students are. The perpetual smile serves as a shield against questions, questions that would arise if someone was walking around campus noticeably unhappy.
The biggest challenge to grapple with at W&L, in my opinion, is whether or not to subscribe to this constant smiling, or if we are brave enough to go against the W&L "culture" by showing our true emotions, which often may be counter to our outward appearance.
Greek system? Eh, every situation and every school and every location has its fair share of complications that are both real and induced by individuals that can block someone from being incorporated into social life. Most people will mention Greek life, alcohol, and being a wealthy southerner as being elements at W&L that will disassociate individuals from the collective student body, so I would like to talk about something else entirely: people carrying ferrets around campus. Well, I have only seen once, so it is not the best commentary on social life to give. I think that it is better to be current and speak of our problems in W&L today and I do mean today. Today we are in the process of the first student body hearing in 12 years. One of the main reasons I decided to attend W&L was because of the strong honor system that W&L supposedly had. Since I have come to know W&L better, I have found that the honor system really is only what the community thinks is a violation of its trust TODAY. Breaking laws is ok and not a violation of anyones trust as long as it does not harm anyone else. If you lie, cheat, or steal it is ok as long as it is outside our "community of trust." All of these things and many other things that I do not consider honorable are not thought of as being against the honor system because if it does not directly effect our community of trust, it does not matter. These reactions by many people at W&L have caused me to feel slightly exiled within the "community of trust." I think that many people even feel exiled within their own fraternity or sorority and within themselves because they know there something slightly hypocritical with the rules that bind our community of trust. Thinking or not think at hours on end about the true meaning of the honor system does not necessarily cause people not to fit into W&L, but it is something that causes people to second guess themselves and others.
Everything about W&L makes it hard to fit in. There are gender issues, racial issues, and other issues here that make it impossible to fit in if you want to maintain any type of individuality. The only way to fit in is to conform completely and basically let go of all of your ideas about what is right. If you want to do this, and you look the part, there is a chance you will fit in.
The fact that this is a topic of discussion at our school speaks to the interesting social dynamic here at W&L. It seems as though college students should be asserting their independent identities and striving to become better people. Instead, though, W&L students often change for what they consider popular acceptance. These students, in trying to fit in, lose themselves to the overriding homogeny of our student population. Unfortunately, in the process, they don't learn to assert themselves as individuals. Sad.
I think that everyone has done a great job of listing some of the challenges of the W&L social life; the Greek system, drinking culture, and conspicuous consumption that pervade this campus erect arbitrary barriers between us. In light of the effective presentation of these facts, I guess that my only comment would be to point out how these pressures assume the quality of inevitability. It is not enough for students to feel that they need to work to fit in; at this school they are taught from very early on that failure to do so will literally end their social lives. I think that the best example would be rush (though perhaps in particular sorority rush. Every year, freshmen are so convinced that these organizations are so important that failure to get into their first choice might reduce them to tears. Divergence is not viewed as an option...
Whenever you meet an alum or a new student at W&L, they immediately ask in which sorority or fraternity you belong. It's often difficult to fit in if your not preppy, Republican, and a WASP. Of course, there are many exceptions to this rule, and W&L is beginning to change with the times. Diversity in enrollment has improved, and whether you like it or not, you have to interact with "these people" in some fashion (e.g., class).
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